I’ve only had two crushes in my life. (Josh K. does not count because I’ve never met him in person.) My first crush was when I was 14 years old and it was amazing. It was also a total cliché. Yes, people, I fell for my best friend.
Looking back now, I wonder why there are so many that fall into the clichéd category of “closeted (if you’re out at 14 I salute you) gay teen falls in love with his best friend”. It’s the stuff of bad indie films. So what’s the deal?
I figure it’s a mixture of hormones and availability. When you’re fourteen, all your relationships have been limited (hopefully) to friends, family, and ‘others’. You don’t have a love life. So the most intimate relationships with members outside your family are with your friends. With your best friend, your relationship is even closer: you know his likes and dislikes, his favorite pastimes, past experiencies… Chances are, if you’ve stayed friends for some time, there’s something between both of you that clicks.
Then the hormones kick in, and you go from having a brother-like bond to a lover-like bond. Problem is, only you make this transition. He remains completely nonchalant. He wants to talk about sports and getting the girl. You want to talk about clothes and getting him. A Creative Writing teacher would tell you that this is where the crisis is presented.
So what do you do? You can try to act on it. You’ll probably won’t be reciprocated (the best friend who turns out to be gay is about as possible as the popular jock who turns out to be gay and in love with the outcast -they’re gay film fantasies). If he does like you in return, good for you. If he doesn’t, good luck dealing with the aftermath.
And the other option comes up: just ignore it. Or, in the words of Kelly Clarkson, “just walk away”. It’s hard, I know, especially since you’ve recently found a new use for the former urinating apparatus and the object of your affection is right there, but it’s safe. It helps if you sorround yourself with girlfriends (as in, friends who are girls -you don’t have to go closety), but it won’t go away easily. It’s a pain in the ass, and not the good kind.
This is where cliché turns into life. Many of us might fall into the stereotypical category, but the way we deal with it is unique. Deciding is a killer, and there’s no safe bet. I chose the second option, and I don’t regret it. But, still, the question “what if” lingers in my mind…
I Want My Boyfriend to Look Like Josh K. 